Something familiar, Something peculiar, Something for everyone….

It’s hard to believe I have been back here in Oregon a week. It definitely has been both familiar and peculiar. As I said in my blog entry about my trip to Stratford University, everything is familiar and easy compared to India. That is even truer here in Oregon in the very neighbourhood in which we spent over a decade. It is also more peculiar: owning a house but not staying there; going to that house to turn on the automatic sprinkler system and wandering through the yard and empty house; trying to stay connected at work when the people with whom I need to interact are 12.5 hours and half a world away.

Let’s start with the most important thing: Rae seems to be 100% at this point. There is no evidence of memory loss or cognitive impairment. Since we are passed the critical first few days where statistically she was more likely to have a stroke, and there have been no more incidents, we are acting as if everything is okay. She has a follow up appointment the end of the month, but unless something else happens I assume this event is behind us now. On the other hand, we still don’t have a definitive cause and probably never will. The two most likely causes are either TIA (mini-stroke) or complex migraine, neither of which leave any physiological evidence. Not knowing why this frightening event happened, there is no real assurance that it won’t happen again. Every day we get further from the event, the worry is reduced, but should it be? Since we don’t know why it happened isn’t it just as likely that it could happen again and we’re just hoping it won’t?

Work carried on this week, almost like I was there. A couple of things worked in my favor. There is a large project I have been working on and trying to finish. I needed to do that whether I was here or there and that involved computer work and thinking. In fact it might have been easier not being on campus. I will say my travel induced insomnia also helped. If I stayed up late, I could communicate with people in their morning. When I woke up at 3:30, I would catch them in the middle of the afternoon. In any case, other than Monday when I was really struggling with computer connectivity issues, it was a productive week. I didn’t feel too guilty. Having just about wrapped up my project, I am sure I will still have daily communication and interaction with the folks in India but I should be able to enjoy my “vacation” portion of the trip much more.

The third aspect of this week has been involvement with family and specifically trying to help more since Rae wasn’t supposed to do much. Now she might say, “What? That was helping?” but I did try. We had Carrigan every morning while Sarah taught pre-school. We also tried to take most of the care duty for Lincoln because Becca has been ill so caring for Isabel, which she is uniquely equipped right now to do, took all of her strength. You add to this a soccer practice and game for Quincy and Colvin and a baseball game for Julien and you have good quality grandkid time. We also saw and interacted a bit with Merrick, Maude, and Lauren but our time with them was definitely less than the others. We’ll have to make up for that this next week.

All in all a good week of grand parenting. Definitely not something you can do very effectively remotely.

Namaste.                        

If you're in the game, Then the stroke's the word

I wish there was a fun reason I selected this lyric for the blog entry this week. However, there was really nothing fun at all about it.

As you may remember, Rae is in the US helping with grandkids. On Friday I was traveling on business to another city several hundred miles from Delhi; in a city with limited plane connections to Delhi. I had just gotten through speaking to the management association in that area and had gotten back to my room, when I got a text from Ben asking me if I had time to talk. I replied I did have time but I didn’t have phone connection so we would have to communicate by SMS. For the next few hours I was exchanging emails with Ben, then Emily, then Sarah. I love all of them but it wasn’t much fun.

To start off the evening, Ben texted me he and Jeremy and given Rae a blessing and they were just taking her to the hospital – they thought she was having a stroke. I was in shock at that news but when I asked why they thought that, and he described her symptoms, I unfortunately completely agreed. She had slurred speech delayed reaction to questions, drooping on the right side of her face, numbness in her right hand and arm, and inability to remember the names of family members.

In the emergency room they immediately began stroke protocol procedures and transferred her to the stroke unit. Over the course of the next few hours, they did a CT scan, an MRI, an echo-cardiogram, and a variety of other diagnostic tests. Throughout that process, Ben and then Sarah would text me with what tests they were running; what Rae was doing; what the doctors were saying; and basically trying to overcome the fact I was 13,000 miles away. I was simultaneously trying to figure out what I needed to do. I couldn’t decide if I should try to come to the US or wait. Even if I tried to come, I was unsure how soon I could get there. And what to do about the meetings I was supposed to have on Saturday? Should I cancel them and try to get back to Delhi? Needless to say, I didn’t get much sleep. I finally dozed off about 3:00 in the morning.

Whilst I was awake, I decided I needed to get back to Delhi ASAP. Nothing really could happen in terms of making plans to go the US until I was back home. So (about 11:00 PM) I called the person responsible for coordinating my meetings, briefly told him what was going on and asked him to make my apologies the next day for the cancelled meetings. I texted Emily so she would know what was going on and sent out an email to family and friends. I then started checking on getting back to Delhi. This was not an easy process.

The closest airport to where I was staying was about a two hour drive from where I was. It turns out there are only three flights a day from Vadodara to Delhi: two in the morning and one in the evening which I was scheduled to take. I decided I had better get there early and so called and asked the cab to pick me up at 6:00 AM. Having finally fallen asleep as noted earlier, I wasn’t exactly rested when my alarm went off at 5:00. The first thing I did was text Sarah to see if there was any news. There was and it was good! (Mostly)

The results from most of the tests were back. There was no brain damage; there had not been a stroke because no brain cells had died (the definition of a stroke). Further, her heart and vascular system all looked good with only minimal plaque.  The two causes that best fit the symptoms but lack of pathology as indicated by the tests were that Rae had either had a mini-stroke (technically a Trans Ischemic Attack or TIA) or a complex migraine. The doctors were stumped. They were sure based on her symptoms that she had had a stroke but the lack of brain damage indicated that was not the case. In any case, armed with a prescription for medication and a warning to come back immediately if there were any new or repeat symptoms she was being allowed to go home. I felt a huge wave of relief.

But the relief wasn’t complete. I had been researching TIAs during the night and had learned that although there is no permanent damage from a TIA during the four days after a stroke, 30% of people will have a stroke, often a fatal one. I knew we were not out of the woods yet, but I should at least have time to make my arrangements and get there. During the night, I had actually wondered if I would see Rae again alive in this world and if so in what condition?

In any case, I made it to the airport and checked to see if I could change my flight. The airline I was scheduled with also had a morning flight, but it was totally booked. I explained the situation but there was nothing they could do. They suggested checking with the other carrier. Fortunately they did have room on their flight and by 11:30 I was back in Delhi, in our home, trying to make arrangements with United to change my flight planned for the 21^st to get to Portland as soon as possible.

After about an hour on the phone, the arrangements had been made. I was flying coach rather than the business class I was scheduled to fly but by 2:30 Portland time the next day, I would be there. The next step was making arrangements for being gone from work and away from Church and associated responsibilities ten day earlier than planned. I actually got all of that done and had time to stop at the Church on the way to the airport for Brother Kuberan Arjun’s wedding.

While I was waiting for it to start, I was talking with the Slocombes about Rae and her situation. I got choked up talking about Rae and how hard it must have been for her to go through all she went through alone. Seeing the struggles I was having dealing with everything, Eric asked if I would like a blessing. I immediately knew that is exactly what I wanted. As he and President Jurial put their hands on my head, all of the pent up emotion and stress bubbled to the surface and tears came to my eyes.

I don’t remember all he said but I do remember how I felt and I remember one thing in particular. It was a unique and spiritual experience. At essentially the same time he was promising me the same, I felt the Spirit wash over me, all of the stress leave; replaced by an overwhelming sense of peace. I knew that God was aware of Rae and that everything was going to be alright.

I won’t go through all the details of actually getting to Portland. Needless to say I did make it. It was wonderful to see Rae. I just wanted to hold her. I thought she looked beautiful and although she seemed tired, she didn’t have any other symptoms that were apparent.

I got there in time for the family Mother’s Day dinner and it was great to see everyone (well almost; Emily and Kai will be here in a few days), and to meet Isabel for the first time. The reason we were all together earlier than planned was not a good one. It had been a stressful couple of days.  But now we were together. Even if there are still challenges ahead, and there may be, at least we will be together to face them.

We certainly are blessed with loving family and friends. Almost immediately upon sending out the email about Rae, responses started coming in with statements of love and support and inclusion in prayers. Within minutes her name was on the prayer roles of temples across the country. Where does one get such support? We are truly blessed.

Namaste.                        

I'm so tired, I haven't slept a wink, I'm so tired, my mind is on the blink…

I love the Beatles and these lyrics seem apropos for the title of today’s blog entry. I got back to India this morning about 1:30. It was after 2:30 by the time I got home and after 4:00 by the time I got to sleep. I am still a bit groggy and need to get my feet back under me ‘cuz time and work wait for no man and groggy or not I have to start work bright and early in the morning. What better way to prepare for the week than to blog?

It was an interesting week in Virginia. I haven’t really spent a lot of time with most of the Stratford people. I was hired; had three days in Virginia at three different campuses; and was off to India. I have spent a few days with the few of them that have come to India over the last year but that’s about it. I will say the more time I spend with them, the more impressed I am. They are bright, engaged people with solid values. I am particularly impressed with Benoit Cossart the Chief Operating Officer. When I met him a year ago he had only been with Stratford a couple of months and that was the extent of his higher education. A year later I found him to be insightful and well informed about the profession and our situation. I spent about four hours with him on Thursday. I was very impressed.

One of the things that I thought was interesting was that it was harder to communicate regularly with Rae from Virginia than it is from India. We try to talk on the phone twice a day. That we talk at the end of her day and the end of mine. Being half way around the world, almost literally, that works pretty well. Well, with only three hours difference it never seemed to be quite in sync. My morning was too early for Rae in Oregon. My night was right in the middle of her helping Becca with dinner and the kids. She always took time to talk with me but I could tell it was taking time away from what she needed to be doing. So, there’s an advantage of being back in India. Woohoo!

While I was at the Falls Church campus last week they had a luncheon to celebrate diversity month. It was pot luck and there were dishes from dozens of countries. Deepak and I were free loaders; I thought about running to the grocery store to get potato salad or chips (two iconic American dishes both of which I am proficient at buying) but no, I just went and ate what the others had prepared. And yes there was potato salad still in the Safeway container. Someone beat me to it!

As part of the luncheon a Western African drum and dance group performed. Well, group is a bit of an overstatement. It was a husband and wife. They are actually part of a group that has performed all over the country and internationally. I guess they thought a pro bono performance at Stratford didn’t require the whole group. In any case I did enjoy their performance and visiting with them a few minutes. Here are some pictures.

My week in Virginia reminded me how much I love and miss the United States. I enjoy travel; I enjoy adventure; I have seen some amazing places and met some amazing people. However, the United States is home. I know we are not perfect. Far too often we fall short of ideals – of course we will; we are made of people and as such we are imperfect. I still believe on balance it is the greatest country in the world. I think more people have more opportunity to advance in the US than anywhere else. I have to admit, part of it too is just familiarity. Everything was easy in the States. Even after a year nothing is really easy in India.

It may not be easy but it is home for now. I am glad to be back; I just wish my partner and favorite person was here as well.

Namaste.