Oh yeah, alright, Are you going to be in my dreams tonight?

These lyrics seem to be fitting for our final blontry about India. First, they are the opening stanza of a song by the Beatles entitled “The End”; likewise, this finalizes the end of our India adventure. Second, this was the last known song recorded by all four of the Beatles, the end of an era; likewise, these seems like the end of an era for us. Third, I have already had “India Dreams” and expect there will be more before I am through. Finally, I have entitled every blontry with the lyrics of a song and I couldn’t find any that I thought were a better fit, so there you have it.

We have been back in the US five days now. The time has flown by. I really haven’t had much time to synthesize our time in India, I have been too occupied with the details of the transition. I do some of my best thinking while talking or writing, so perhaps this blontry will be the synthesis.

I don’t think there were any overarching themes that unify our time in India. I guess I’ll approach it from both professional and personal standpoints.

Professionally, our time in India was a great challenge and a great experience. Some of the readers of this blog will know that one of the focuses of my doctoral program was culture indigenous and organizational. My dissertation focused on high performing teams in three countries, including India. Additionally, I had been traveling and working in India since 2002. I was not prepared for the challenges I faced as a “gora” managing an Indian organization. 

First there was language. English is one of the official languages of India; all educated Indians speak and understand it; I don’t believe I was in one meeting where the entire discussion occurred in English. From my observation, for most educated Indians, normal verbal communication is combination of English, Hindi (and/or the language of their home state) and a mélange of English/Hindi/other Indian language. Sometimes they use English words in Hindi sentences; sometimes the other way around; sometimes they’ll speak for a few minutes in English, switch to Hindi, then back as it seems appropriate to the context. I learned to understand a little by the end of our time in India, but I am sure I missed a lot of content, and more particularly subtext, because of my lack of fluency. I learned some Hindi, but I was quite disappointed in myself about how little.

It is dangerous to speak of a country’s culture, particularly in one as vast and with as many separate ethnic groups as India, but there were aspects to the typical manifestations of Indian culture that were challenging for me. First, India is considered a high power distance culture. This means there is a greater acceptance of overt differences in power and privileges than we typically are comfortable with in the United States. I found it challenging to see the vast differences in wealth, power and influence. Leaders are shown deference (use of honorifics, standing when one enters, carrying one’s briefcase, etc.) than I was use to or that ever became totally comfortable for me. There is often an expectation that a manager will give guidance to all aspects of a person’s life, not just related to work. There also seemed to be too much work done to make the boss happy rather than because it was the right thing to do.

The observance of time and timeliness was another area that was challenging for me. Indians, prize punctuality but honor it more in the breach than in practice. If a meeting was scheduled to start at 10:00, that is when people would start wrapping up whatever they were doing and head to the meeting. So, it was not unusual to be 15 minutes into a meeting before even the majority of participants would actually arrive. Another difference is we in the US tend to view time sequentially and despite our desire to multi-task we tend to keep events separate. If we are in a meeting, we would not take a phone call unless it was urgent. We would not interrupt a meeting, again, unless it was a critical, time sensitive matter. In India, taking a phone call during a meeting; even during a critical part of a meeting is not unusual. Neither is it unusual for someone to walk into a meeting or appointment to get some work or another completed. I think it drove people crazy that I would not answer my phone during a meeting or appointment. I know it bothered me when they had no hesitancy in doing so.

Another aspect of culture that is quite different between India and the United States is the degree to which fate is believed to determine outcome. Most everyone knows of the caste system, which although now illegal, still has a tremendous impact on one’s role and standing in society. Ideally, one was supposed to fulfill the expectations that came with one’s caste without criticism and without complaining. This was the way to have a more favorable life in the next reincarnation. For me, this led to too high a degree of complacency with the norm and an unwillingness to try and make changes. A token effort would be made, but if it didn’t work, “oh well, it was not meant to be.”

There are aspects of Indian culture that I found more comfortable for me than the typical US culture. First, because India is more of a collectivist than an individualist culture, there was more concern for others, at least for one’s in group and extended family. I was very comfortable with that – more so than I am with the “rugged individualist” that typifies US culture. I am sure that is while I grew up in the US, I also grew up as a member of collectivist church where concern for the whole is also as important, and for some more important, than the concerns of the individual. I loved and admired the traditional concern for and support of family.

Another aspect of Indian culture that I valued was its openness to spirituality and discussion of all things spiritual. I was particularly surprised by how often spiritual discussions came up at work. At first I was hesitant to know how much to say. I have been fairly well socialized to avoid saying anything that would lead others to believe I was trying to convert them. What I found was overall an acceptance of a spiritual aspect to work and a willingness to discuss their beliefs and the beliefs of others in an open and non-judgmental way. I was able to be more open with and honest about my spirituality and its importance to me than in any work situation I have found myself in the US.

There are hundreds more observations I could make about working in India. I found it very challenging at times. I was asked to create a US organization within India. While it is possible to create an organizational culture that is different from the national culture within which that organization exists. I think it takes longer than 2 ½ years and the efforts of one person to do that successfully. Perhaps we made some changes that will last and make the organization more effective in the long term.

As I thought about what to write about my how India affected me personally, it occurred to me most of this blog over the last two and half years addresses that already. I am also sure that many of the same issues and challenges I have discussed relative to my professional life also impacted my personal life. I think the thing that I enjoyed the most were the people. We made some tremendous friends during our time in India, I will always cherish those relationships and the memories of our time together. There are things I didn’t care for: traffic, dirt, pollution, poverty, and so forth. Rather than dwell on that, I would like to wrap up with the positives.

I love the food, music, clothing, art, architecture, and history of India. I found truths in the holy and cultural writings and teaching that spoke to me and resonated with other truth I have discovered. I love the natural beauty of much of the country and wish I had been able to spend more time up North in the mountains and in the South and on the coast where it was naturally more lush and green. As noted above, I was challenged by the language and wish I had made a concentrated effort to learn Hindi better than I did. What I did learn, both verbal and written fascinated me.

I will probably never live in India again, but I am glad we did for these two and half years. Visiting again is a definite possibility.

Namaste

God be with you ‘til we meet again…

“That which we persist in doing becomes easier to do, not that the nature of the thing has changed but that our power to do has increased.”  -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

If Emerson was correct, we should be practically perfect at saying goodbye. This week has been a series of separations and farewells: people we have met, at work, and at church. As much as we are excited to be home and be with family, it is sad to say goodbye to people that have become very dear to us. I have learned to never say never, but the probability is high we will not see most of these people again in this life. Maybe we’ll come back some day, but it is not the most likely future. Perhaps we will meet one or two of them in the US or somewhere else, but it is not the outcome with the highest probability. Most likely is that our contact with people through social media and emails will gradually decrease until it falls away, perhaps with the exception of one or two. Too bleak? Sorry, but it is that probability that has tinged every goodbye this week.

Professionally, this week has been mostly about wrapping up loose ends of projects that I have been working on; organizing paperwork and files; and (see above) saying goodbye. Most of that was unremarkable. If it wasn’t for Friday, if I hadn’t gone into the office at all, I don’t think it would have made a difference.

Friday was different – well kinda different. A lot of what I did Friday could fall in the category of wrapping up loose ends. However, they were more interactive, more conversations rather than writing reports. I have been needing to meet Charu and Rajive for conversational handover on a few points. This probably should have been an hour or two meeting. However it took twice that. Additionally, I have been trying for three weeks to arrange a meeting between my primary contact at the US embassy and Charu and Rajive. Finally, we all agreed on lunch on Friday. It was a good meeting with several new ideas raised and a few outstanding issues resolved. It also served as a nice interlude between the ongoing handover meeting that started at 10:00 and ended at 5:00 (you remember, the one that should have only taken an hour or two).

The meeting might still be going on and certainly ended when it did only because there were 150 – 200 people waiting in the auditorium for us. The assembly was a two-fer. One, the student association took the opportunity to launch a new logo and slogan. Second, the students and staff threw a farewell event? Activity? Party? Not sure what the best term would be. There were a few formal remarks by me, Charu, Rajive, and the head of the student association. Then a group of students sang a song in my honor mixed with an original rap performed by one student. There were gifts given, and then the student who was conducting opened it to whomever would like to make a comment – like a wake, or a testimony meeting. There were many who came forward. I thing it took longer than the organizers had anticipated. Then, of course there were refreshments. I didn’t get any of the refreshments (not that I needed them) because I was overwhelmed by constant barrage of students and staff who wanted his/her/their pictures with me. It was kind of a paparazzi moment trying to switch my eyes and attention back, forth, and around to one of the many people taking pictures.

In the end, it was the end. I packed up my laptop, turned off the lights in my office and walked off.

I haven’t achieved everything I wanted to when I started two and half years ago, but I am proud of what we did accomplish. I don’t know if success will come in the next few years as we have envisioned, but if it does, I think it will primarily be because of the foundation we have laid.

That’s me. Here’s Rae.

My week was also a week of farewells, maybe slightly different than Phil’s, but farewells none the less.  My farewells for most of the week centered on belongings.  There were the things that were being sorted and organized for the sea shipments, then the things for air shipment, then the items that we were not taking with us and needed to find new homes for.  Most anything that plugged into an outlet had to go.  That meant the microwave, toaster, blender, mixer, phones, heaters, geyser, hair blower, curling iron, power cords, printer, hair clippers, washing machine, and whatever else I’ve forgotten.  I’m writing this blog sitting in an empty house with 4 suitcases waiting to fly out tomorrow night. Right now I’m glad this is a furnished flat so we’re not sitting and sleeping on the floor.

The hardest farewells by far were the ones that took place yesterday and today.  Yesterday Phil and I had lunch with Vandana and Christina one last time.  Christina I will see again tomorrow, but Vandana I probably won’t see again anytime soon.  Today was our last time in the branch and it was hard to say goodbye to all these people that have been so warm and accepting of us.  We spent a bit of time after church having pictures taken and giving those final hugs.  It was hard, but I surprised myself by mostly keeping my emotions in check.  The thing that makes all this bearable is what we know is waiting for us at the other end.  Family and friends in the US, here we come!

Here are a few pictures of some of our goodbyes.

Namaste!

Remember, remember, walking in the sand….

Well there was a little walking in the sand but not too much. We were having too much fun otherwise.

This is a couple of days late. By the time we got home from Goa on Sunday night, there was little energy and less enthusiasm for writing the blog. However, not to bury the lede, the trip to Goa was definitely a success. Am I 100% pain free? No. Are my joints totally free from inflammation? No. On the other hand, I am moving much better and have no need for a cane. I am off all meds except the Ayurvedic herbs and a couple of Advil or Aleve a day. Dr. Uppoor said I should continue to see improvement on the swelling and discomfort over the next few weeks and he anticipates that by the end of three to four months I will be symptom free. Actually he said cured but I remain a bit of a sceptic. I am not yet convinced you can cure auto immune. There is plenty of evidence it can go into remission, however, and if I can achieve and maintain that, it is a functional full recovery.

Each day’s treatment was quite similar (for details, see last week's entry). Occasionally, they would add in slow drip of warm oil along the hairline, allowing the oil to flow across the scalp. This was very relaxing and enjoyable but I am not sure exactly how it impacted my auto immune, but it felt great. The other changes were less pleasurable. Part of the treatment was a cleanse. Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday started with drinking an increasing amount of gee (clarified butter) infused with herbs. The first day was about a quarter cup; second was about a half; and the third day was a full cup. All I can say is blech! The taste was awful and it lingered for quite a while. Friday and Saturday my cleanse was kicked up a notch to enemas. Now that was fun too in its own inimitable way.

I will say I have gone into the Ayurvedic treatment with something like a mix of blind faith and skepticism. I have moved a long way from my former belief that only traditional, western, allopathic medicine had value to offer but I am not ready to totally abandon western medicine yet. I am a pragmatist I guess. If it works, great. I am for it. There is a lot about Ayurvedic underlying philosophy that seems more like magic than medicine. I haven’t bought into that entirely. However, one of the things that I do find interesting is the similarity to how Ayurveda describes the origin of auto immune disease and the latest research by those in functional medicine.

In Ayurveda, the underlying cause of diseases such as mine is seen as stemming from malperformance of the stomach and intestines. Because things are not processed correctly, toxins are released into the blood stream that can settle any number of places and cause problems. If they settle into the joints, you end up with symptoms like mine. This is quite similar to the description of “leaky gut” that is currently (although somewhat controversial) being studied by MDs who specialize in functional medicine. The build-up in the joints of what Ayurveda calls toxins is quite similar to the description of inflammation causing fluids that attacks and builds up in different parts of the body, which is kind of a typical description of what goes on in auto immune.

In any case, improvement for now, which I will gladly accept. Now I need to continue my efforts to lose weight and when I get back to the States start an exercise program that won’t bring too much impact to my joints.

Rae Here.  While our time in Goa didn’t end up being the sightseeing adventure we’d anticipated, be were still able to get a few pictures and have a bit of time on the beach.

I’ll start by explaining a bit about our hotel.  We stayed at a hotel that our Dr had recommended.  He thought it would be good because it had a kitchen and that would give us the chance to cook some of our own food.  Nice idea, and the kitchen looked right, it just didn’t come equipped with anything, not a glass, spoon, pot; well you get the idea. We had no idea where to buy any food so I guess it really wasn’t a problem.  We also had a living room area, called a hall, a bedroom and 1 ½ bathrooms.  A fairly decent place but lacking in a few areas.  We were given 2 bath towels, no hand towels or wash clothes, one bar of soap, and one tiny shampoo.  

They had a pretty good looking menu, but almost every time we ordered something, they would call us back to tell us that one or two of those items were not available.  This made some things a bit tough, because there were certain things Phil wasn’t supposed to eat so it made our choices pretty limited at times.  I could share several other fun/funny experiences with room service.  There was “free Wi-Fi” when it was available.  We had to get a new password every 3 days but we soon learned that we needed to have them write them down because you had to continually keep logging-in, and that was on a good day.  Getting the password written down was also pretty funny.  No one has any paper or scissors, so they would find some scrap of paper and then tear off a corner and write the password on that, Hotel stationary or note pads, you joke.  I will say that the staff was always helpful and friendly. 

Driving from the airport to the hotel took just over an hour and so we were able to see a few things along the way.  Early on, this area had had a large Portuguese influence and so there were many Catholic churches, some very old and some new, some were very small and some large and stunning.  That seems so different from what we see in Delhi. 

There was an area where they were working on widening the road and it was the usual sight of many workers, both men and women.  There they were with their little hoe shovels clearing and breaking up the ground, digging out and hauling boulders.  I wasn’t able to get pictures of this process, but off our balcony we could see a lot that was being cleared and prepared for a building.  Same process of many workers moving earth and rock.  I did manage to get a few pictures of that process, just got there right after most of those workers had left the sight.  Notice the guy carrying the boulder on his shoulder. 

We did finally make it down to the beach.  It was cloudy and rained on us so most of the pictures look a bit gloomy.  It’s interesting to share the beach with quite a few cows, but that’s what you get to do there. In fact we watched 3 bulls tussling with each other.  They made their way down toward the water and into the crowds of people who were sitting on the sand and at the water’s edge.  The people weren’t too fazed, they just got up and moved aside.  Luckily no one was trampled.  There are always so many more men than women but there were a few women.  No women in swim suits, maybe a few in shorts, women in sarees standing in the water.  One young couple that we guessed were on their honeymoon as the bride was sitting in the water’s edge with all of her red wedding bangles up both arms.   Everyone seemed to be having a good carefree time. 

Goa is warm/hot and humid, so that equals lots of green tropical beauty.  Goa has much less traffic than Delhi and seemed to have a slower pace of life.  There was still trash, but overall less than Delhi, and no pollution.  It was fun to see a new area, but the best part was the end result for Phil. The rest was just a bonus.     

Next week will be our last blontry from India.

      

Namaste