Sunday, December 14, 2014

There she stood in the wedding aisle, and the train on her gown had nearly stretched a mile


How many times have we written about the contrasts we see in India? Well, Tex, here’s another one.

We attended two weddings this past week. One with the Hindu wedding of the daughter of the man who runs the canteen on campus. The other was a wedding held at our Branch between two of our members. The Hindi wedding was on Wednesday and the LDS wedding was Saturday.

I could talk a lot of the differences between the two weddings. I might or perhaps Rae will. But first I want to talk about a commonality. Weddings in India never start on time. People often joke about Indian Standard Time (IST). Officially IST is the time zone for India but jokingly it refers to the fact that few things start on time here. Within that overall milieu, weddings take that to a whole new level. The LDS wedding was supposed to start at 5:30. They announced the wedding would start at 4:00 so that people would be there on time. Well, not so much. Finally just after 6:30 it finally started. Which is much closer to on time than any other wedding we've attended. They were waiting for the mother of the bride to show up. At the Hindu wedding (this was actually third day of the wedding activities) the Baraat Swagat (reception of the groom’s party by the bride’s party) was supposed to begin at 8:00 with dinner beginning at 9:00. The groom’s party arrived sometime after 9:00 so everything shifted accordingly. Later in the week I asked Man Singh (the father of bride) when the wedding got over. He told me they wrapped up about 5:00 in the morning.

Although we've been to a couple of Hindi weddings, we still have not experienced the whole thing and we may never get that chance. As noted above Hindi weddings take two to three days. And all of each day. I don’t suppose we will be close enough to a family to get to be there for the entire process. Still the parts of the process we have participated in have been visually amazing and a lot of fun.

The venues for at least the last night of celebrations are often in country houses. Entries are created by draping fabric. Rugs are spread end to end over large open dirt areas, with more fabric hung around the periphery to create the illusion of a large (a couple of acres or more) outdoor room. This particular wedding took place in a dirt lot which was magically transformed by many carpets and lots and lots of fabric.





One of the best parts of the evening was the children. At first they were hanging around near us but not too near, looking at us, giggling, and talking with each other. Then one would get up his courage, come up to us, and say hello. When we said hello to one and shook his hand, the dam was broken. From then on groups of two, three, ten, a hundred kids gathered around us clamoring for attention. Wherever we went, this mass of kids swirled around us. Occasionally some adult would step in and shoo the kids away. Seconds later, they were back.





One kind of funny thing happened on the way to the wedding. We were stuck in traffic. (What? That never happens in Delhi!) We looked over to the car next to us and there was a groom in his full attire. Both Rae and I thought, wouldn't it be funny if that’s the groom for our wedding? Well, in fact it was! What a coincidink, eh?



Here are a few other pictures we took during the evening.



 
























The LDS wedding was between two great young people. He (Joshua) is from the South and served his mission in Delhi. She (Rekha) is from Delhi and served her mission in the Philippines. Somewhere along the way they met. He moved to Delhi to be close to her and one thing led to another and now they are married. 





This is how the Church in India will put down roots and have sustainable growth. There are so many single men and women in their twenties and thirties. I wish they could find each other like Joshua and Rekha. If the single young men and women would fall in love, get married, and start raising families the Church would have a sustainable base. There are many barriers to that happening. The greatest being that despite some changes “love marriages” are still less common than arranged marriages. In arranging marriages rarely is religious affiliation a consideration. For most parents the suitability of a bride or groom is based on economic considerations. Another issue is the prejudice that is still a significant aspect of Indian life. Southern Indians don’t like or trust Northern Indians. Neither like nor trust Nepalis. And there’s the issue of caste. Even though castes have been outlawed officially for years, people still  know exactly which class they and everyone else “would have” belonged to. These divisions are breaking down, but they still are evident and a factor in determining who will marry whom.

Next week we will be in Oregon with family. We are looking forward to being home for Christmas. We’ll see if we write a blontry.


Namaste  

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