How many times have we written about the contrasts we see in India? Well, Tex, here’s another one.
We attended two weddings this past week.
One with the Hindu wedding of the daughter of the man who runs the canteen on
campus. The other was a wedding held at our Branch between two of our members. The
Hindi wedding was on Wednesday and the LDS wedding was Saturday.
I could talk a lot of the differences
between the two weddings. I might or perhaps Rae will. But first I want to talk
about a commonality. Weddings in India never start on time. People often joke
about Indian Standard Time (IST). Officially IST is the time zone for India but
jokingly it refers to the fact that few things start on time here. Within that
overall milieu, weddings take that to a whole new level. The LDS wedding was
supposed to start at 5:30. They announced the wedding would start at 4:00 so
that people would be there on time. Well, not so much. Finally just after 6:30
it finally started. Which is much closer to on time than any other wedding we've
attended. They were waiting for the mother of the bride to show up. At the
Hindu wedding (this was actually third day of the wedding activities) the Baraat
Swagat (reception of the groom’s party by the bride’s party) was supposed to
begin at 8:00 with dinner beginning at 9:00. The groom’s party arrived sometime
after 9:00 so everything shifted accordingly. Later in the week I asked Man
Singh (the father of bride) when the wedding got over. He told me they wrapped up
about 5:00 in the morning.
Although we've been to a couple of Hindi
weddings, we still have not experienced the whole thing and we may never get
that chance. As noted above Hindi weddings take two to three days. And all of
each day. I don’t suppose we will be close enough to a family to get to be
there for the entire process. Still the parts of the process we have
participated in have been visually amazing and a lot of fun.
The venues for at least the last night
of celebrations are often in country houses. Entries are created by draping
fabric. Rugs are spread end to end over large open dirt areas, with more fabric
hung around the periphery to create the illusion of a large (a couple of acres
or more) outdoor room. This particular wedding took place in a dirt lot which
was magically transformed by many carpets and lots and lots of fabric.
One of the best parts of the evening was
the children. At first they were hanging around near us but not too near, looking at us, giggling, and
talking with each other. Then one would get up his courage, come up to us, and
say hello. When we said hello to one and shook his hand, the dam was broken.
From then on groups of two, three, ten, a hundred kids gathered around us clamoring
for attention. Wherever we went, this mass of kids swirled around us. Occasionally
some adult would step in and shoo the kids away. Seconds later, they were back.
One kind of funny thing happened on the
way to the wedding. We were stuck in traffic. (What? That never happens in
Delhi!) We looked over to the car next to us and there was a groom in his full attire.
Both Rae and I thought, wouldn't it be funny if that’s the groom for our
wedding? Well, in fact it was! What a coincidink, eh?
Here are a few other pictures we took during the evening.
The LDS wedding was between two great
young people. He (Joshua) is from the South and served his mission in Delhi.
She (Rekha) is from Delhi and served her mission in the Philippines. Somewhere along
the way they met. He moved to Delhi to be close to her and one thing led to
another and now they are married.
This is how the Church in India will put down
roots and have sustainable growth. There are so many single men and women in their
twenties and thirties. I wish they could find each other like Joshua and Rekha.
If the single young men and women would fall in love, get married, and start
raising families the Church would have a sustainable base. There are many barriers to that
happening. The greatest being that despite some changes “love marriages” are
still less common than arranged marriages. In arranging marriages rarely is religious
affiliation a consideration. For most parents the suitability of a bride or
groom is based on economic considerations. Another issue is the prejudice that
is still a significant aspect of Indian life. Southern Indians don’t like or
trust Northern Indians. Neither like nor trust Nepalis. And there’s the issue
of caste. Even though castes have been outlawed officially for years, people
still know exactly which class they and
everyone else “would have” belonged to. These divisions are breaking down, but
they still are evident and a factor in determining who will marry whom.
Next week we will be in Oregon with
family. We are looking forward to being home for Christmas. We’ll see if we
write a blontry.
Namaste
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